Happy Halloween! it's fun to see the kids all dressed up, i do miss those days (getting candy). oh well. i finally saw "monster's inc." and "child's play" (the evil doll named chucky) yesterday. "monster's inc." is such a good movie, i love the fuzzy sully! and, "child's play" wasn't as evil as i thought it would be, but then again, it was released in 1988. i wanna see "bride of chucky" and the new one "seed of chucky" now, but i'll rent or watch them on tv, NOT the theatres! i hate loud noises! and in "child's play" the detective/cop looks like the guy who played the king in "princess bride" and the same guy from the movie version of "a tale of 2 cities". but i dunno if it was him, 'cause i don't know if he really does have an accent. the guy in the "child's play" movie didn't have a british accent.

my music is being screwy! i have songs that say one thing, but play something else from my music collection! ahhh, those songs worked fine yesterday! uggh! oh well.

yay! yesterday was the internet's 35th b-day. just thought i'd share.

NAH, maybe this one! i got the winking thing going on in addition to the tongue sticking out! this was over a year ago! 

or how about this one? 

i think this pic is sexy, don't u? 

and the infamous luke's head! by the position of his hands, u'd think to do a chalk outline of him. wow, look at those red ears! must have been from all of the dancing we all did!

and da's hair! i think she did it herself, she's amazing at things like that! aww, the pretty hair! 

and the side of stef's head! it was hard to get behind her and take a pic. but it's still pretty! 

this was lo's head. aww, it's so pretty! 

the hair pics now. this was aftergrad. this was my head as u can guess. i liked my hair! can u believe i did it to myself? i didn't know i could do it! 

um, sexy da! hehe, i'll miss her! 

this is a nice one of a bunch of us. just ignore the red eyes! oooh this was grad '04 btw! 

there's the four gals. yah, well the 3 and me in a very awkward position! hehe. amanda sure looks joyous! 

this is a cool pic, it's a mirror actually. this was taken on canada day 2004 

oooh, funny things at university that happened. in english, my prof asked the class if anyone knew how to download movies off the net! how random is that? she actually wanted to learn how to do that. haha! she's great! and in bio, my prof got so sick of 2 people talking (out of 400) that she told them 3 times to leave. she finally went to the top row and told them to leave, i couldn't see who because i had to write down the stupid notes she was prolly gonna take off the screen when she was to get back down again! but it was funny!

wow! today was good. classes were okay, but it was funny 'cause right as i was getting on the bus to go home from uofa, my cousin called me. she asked if i wanted to go to dinner with her tonight (friday) and well i was at the back of the bus already and i couldn't quite get off (she lives near uofa). so, i had to push the button to get off at the next stop. the bus driver then said (as i was approaching the front), "excuse me, there's no stop until [insert st. # here] st." i dunno, maybe he thought i was offended or something, 'cause he stopped at a non-404 bus stop. that was nice of him. then, i got to ride the #6 downtown (edmonton bus) to her house. wow, that was the first time i was on an edmonton bus! i'm so glad she told me where to get off, otherwise i'd prolly be lost! then, i got to her house and we watched tv. at about 4:30, we went to catch the #4 WEM bus, and went to, u guessed it-west ed. mall! when we finally reached there, we ate supper at the old spaghetti factory. i had "fettucine pon collo", or was that con pollo? i think it was con pollo. anyway, we went to see "the forgotten" at famous players. wow, i hate watching scary movies in the theatre! it's so loud, and that's what makes the movies SO SCARY! but i must say it was a good movie. it was a different kind of scary movie. it made u pay attention and think (not hard). there was one scene that made my heart jump. it was when one car crashed into the other (this won't ruin the plot, no one got hurt). u could see the car, but the impact was SO LOUD!!! after the movie, we went to eat dessert at death by chocolate. i can't remember what i ate, but i can show u the picture in the menu. anyway, it was yummy! it had chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. it also had a chocolate wafer. mmm...mmm...GOOD! like the campbell's soup commericals :) we also had a nice chat during the dessert. then we went to catch the #4 university (bus). we caught it but when the bus got to uofa, the bus driver said "this bus is now out of service". that was odd. everyone on the bus had to get out. luckily another bus, #6 downtown, came and this bus was actually faster than the other one, so we got to her house quicker than expected. wow, edmonton buses are very noisy, and have stupid teenage girls who won't shut up! and there are some weirdos at the bus stops. apparently this one girl was bitching to her friend that her boyfriend (who she previously had cornered, literally) was cheating on her. i think she was drunk/drugged too, i dunno! weird kids! well, then my dad came to pick me up from my cuz's house. that was the 3rd day in a row my dad had to pick me up from the uofa area!

i also saw other movies a while back. i saw "collateral" on the last long weekend. i didn't like the ending, but i liked some of the music. btw, tom cruise didn't look bad with grey hair ;) i saw part of "the gremlins" and all of "the gremlins 2" last saturday. i love those movies! for some odd reason, i put my GIZMO doll somewhere, so i couldn't have him while i watched the movie about him! ugggh, i hate that! that's just like i threw my 3-hole punch somewhere right before school started, and i really need it now! anyway, i saw "pleasantville" awhile back. i know that there were more movies, but i can't remember.

u know what's a good song? "jacqueline" by franz ferdinand! i love the guitar!

You are Fish 'Tacos.' You might think you're
exotic and worldly-wise, but in reality you're
just a bunch of crap on toast. Repeat after
me: 'just because you put something in
quotation marks doesn't make it so.' And
'taco' isn't Spanish for 'toast.'

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
brought to you by

waah! we finished watching "casablanca" in english yesterday! oh, i wanted to keep watching it. oh well, we get to do our group work tomorrow. i know someone in my group, so that's good. i like how i've met lots of new people, but i hate how i haven't made any new friends yet!

yay! i finally got my letter from sal for awards night! it was funny 'cause sabira told me she already got hers, and i was talking to shannon today (i saw her on the bus from transit station to home) and she was saying how some people got their letter and others haven't. well, i'm glad, in a week and 2 days i get an award! yay!

oooh, and i finished my chem lab an hour early! but i had to wait for the 4:30 bus cause the 4pm bus left already. bah to midterms! i wrote math today, it was okay i guess. i'm not looking forward to chem tomorrow. i'm glad i did good on my math assignment. the marker put 101 out of 100 instead of 110. i was wondering why it said 92% instead of 101%! hehe. oh well, it took the maker over a week to give us back that assignment! that was dumb. oh well, i have to study for chem soon. :(

samuel's hot! k, today was sam roberts day! hehe, i made that up. see, i was going to wear my sam roberts shirt anyway, but then when i heard "brother down" in the morning, i thought, y not take my sam roberts cd to listen to? hehe, that was great!


to explain the "oooh nooo the psycho killed himself" story.

on degrassi 3 weeks ago this guy named rick was finally gaining the respect of his peers, or so he thought. see, a year ago, he was the boyfriend of a bunch of the students' friend and he was so evil that he sent his girlfriend into a coma (she's not on the show anymore, so maybe she died on the show?) and for some odd reason he returned to degrassi. no one forgave him and treated him like crap. finally, he was on this high school quiz show and because he was doing so well, he thought everyone was likeing him in degrassi. but he was wrong! these 3 people set up a prank so that he'd be coated with mustard and feathers. boy, they shouldn't have done that! the end of that episode was showing rick holding a gun (he went home to get it). the week after, he (this was actually the same day on the show) show's up with his gun. while he's in the bathroom, the guys who actually set this plan up were lying and saying it was this guy (jimmy), who was actually on the same team as rick and was opening his mind to rick (becoming his friend), that set up this plan. little did they know, that rick had a gun. so what does rick do, he shoots jimmy in the back, in the middle of the hallway! then rick goes after emma, a girl he loved but she didn't love him back (he was pissed because she gave him mixed signals). before he tries to shoot her, this guy named sean (sp?) (her ex-boyfriend) struggles with rick for the gun, and all of a sudden a shot is heard! the victim to the shot was rick, and he actually died after the gun shot. so, the evil/tormented soul was killed. now last week was mainly on sean, but they did show a "next week on degrassi" clip which showed jimmy being alive and well. so, maybe it'll be good! wow, watching rick shoot jimmy was awkward. i know it's tv, but u kinda feel sick seeing it, i dunno.

that was the story! i wonder if john bregar will come on next week! it's been a month since i last saw him!

wow! this was one hectic week! i had 2 labs (one was a major bio lab) and a math assignment due yesterday! eeeewwwww! however the poster sale for the entire week was awesome! i got 2 snatch (woohoo!) posters, 2 simpsons posters, a muppets poster (yah boy!) and some others. i did want more, but i spent way too much money as is! i put up one of my snatch posters, my beatles poster and my muppets poster. i already have a simpsons poster up. hehe, i hope my parents don't really notice....hehe!

u know what's nice? when someone starts to talk to u. see, on wednesday this guy sat next to me on the bus and started to talk to me. he said "i see u on the bus a lot" and " u have psych, don't u?" but yah, that was so cool. i talked to him more today, he seems very nice. but he's a year older. hehe. wow, i love people like that! it's hard when ur a shy kid to start talking to people, especially guys! oh well, that's cool!

uggh, 2 midterms next week! i have to study! so don't mind me if i don't post much this week! or talk to anyone!

wow, cookie dough blizzard from dq is awesome! mmmm....that's good blizzard! here's a note to self for the future: take out the pieces of cookie dough in the ice cream, the next time i get it, and see if it'll bake into mini cookies! yes, if u've done this before, don't tell me how it works out, unless something very BAD happens when u do this! hehe! mmmmmmm......cookie dough!

Vertigo by U2

Lights go down
It's dark
The jungle is your head
Can't rule your heart
I'm feeling so much stronger
Than I thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul
it can't be bought
your mind can wander

Hello, Hello
Hola! [Spanish for Hello]
I'm at a place called vertigo (¿Dónde está?) [Where is it?]
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something I can feel
Feel

The night is full of holes
Those bullets rip the sky
Of ink with gold
They twinkle as the boys play rock and roll
They know that they can't dance
At least they know

I can't stand the beat
I'm askin' for the cheque
Girl with crimson nails
Has Jesus 'round the neck
Swinging to the music
Swinging to the music
Woooao

Hello, Hello
Hola!
I'm at a place called Vertigo (¿Dónde está?) [Where is it?]
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But you give me something I can feel
Feel

All this, all this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
All this, all of this can be yours
Just give me what I want
And no one gets hurt

Hello, Hello
Hola!
I'm at a place called Vertigo
Lights go down and all I know
Is that you give me something I can feel
Your love teaching me ...aaahhh
Your love is teaching me ...aaaah
How to kneel
Kneel

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

"No electronic translation devices, No calculators, No laser pointers. Also forbidden are: any and all hats, sunglasses, rulers and protractors, crystal balls, ouija boards, etc."


hehe, this was in my psych syllabus! i found it funny!

YAY! U2 HAS RELEASED A SONG FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM! for those of you who like u2, the song is called "vertigo" and the album is called "how to dismantle a bomb" or something like that. anyway, i enjoy this song, so any of u u2 fanatics should listen to it. it's cool, and fun to dance to! well, that's my story. oooh, morpheus seems to work better than kazaa. i realized that 2 weeks ago!

well, i guess i've realized that life sucks. actually i've known that for 5 yrs or so now. it sucks to be me. i can't express who i really am. people think i'm sheltered when in fact i'm pretty much not. i'm very different from what the world depicts me as, and quite frankly, it pisses the hell out of me. i wanna live my life the way i do at home by myself. no one accepts the "fake" me and no one will ever accept the real me. i don't need pity, i need someone to talk to. i know what some of u'll say, "i'm here for you", infact that's a lie. no one's ever been there for me. if someone was, then i'd be a hell of a lot happier now. i know u all have problems and lives to attend to, so i'm not asking u guys for favours/help. barely anyone reads this blog, but if u actually do read it, then y don't u wonder what some of my posts are about? see i write a lot of crap on how much i hate myself, but i still don't think any of u understand that. and that's how it'll always be. people will continually look to me as a nerd, or a retard. infact i'm neither. i may not be the brightest person, but i am smart. and i do enjoy a wide range of things, hence i'm not a nerd. i can't dress up pretty like a girl 'cause i'm too overweight. it really bothers me because i have such pretty clothes. oh, and when i do where a skirt to school, or take a purse, people look at me like i'm some sort of a cross-dresser! man, i hate this life. i'm dead inside my body and i wish i could physically be gone too. i hate being confused too. for the past year or so, i've had some confusing topics hitting my mind. and it'll never stop. maybe it'll take that special guy to help me, but i've established the fact that there will be no special guy or person to help me. i wouldn't be surprised if i snap one day in public, or if i really do run away or kill myself. but knowing me, i'll be too chicken. i've tried to suffocate myself but i always stop. i'm not the type to cut myself but who knows what'll happen to me. all i've been asking for is some happiness, preferably some best friends who i can talk to, or just act myself around! i want to leave here and move away to some other city. i don't wanna go to school anymore knowing that people look at me and judge me for how i look. i'm totally an awesome person, but no one is willing to find that out. i seem very shy, but if u get me talking about some topic i know stuff about, i'll be talking for a long time. i know i sound stupid too, but that doesn't mean i truly am. i know i'm ugly too, but i wouldn't be so overweight if i wasn't depressed. it's hard to be fat, i really don't think there's such thing as a "jolly fat person". i know i'm not. oh well, here's a post which no one will read, and if someone does, they'll prolly leave some comment that they don't mean. anyway, i'm glad most or all of you have some sort of peace/happiness in your life. i hope it stays that way.

hmmm..........HOMEWORK SUCKS! yes, and having a bio midterm tomorrow when u don't understand any of the concepts sucks as well! i'm glad i did good on my assignment, though. yah, woohoo long weekend! i think there's a new christian radio station (fm 105.9) or something along those lines. yah, it was weird 'cause my bro was flipping through the radio stations and that new station was picked up. the announcer calls it a "family station" but i don't think it works unless u know the christian rock genre. yes, well, there was some news for some of u. it's quite annoying when family channel only shows the new episodes of rfr on the weekend when u can rarely watch it! oh well!

today marks the 2 month anniversary of me having my liscense. ugggh, i've only driven 5-10 times of which i've driven alone once! and that was with my brother driving nearby! see, i told u guys i'd have no real purpose to getting my liscense! oh well, someday i'll snag me a car. maybe i'll marry rich...................I DOUBT I'LL GET MARRIED AT ALL! yes, well i'll shut up about that now.

2 days ago was the one month anniversary since amanda's death. i know ur in a peaceful place, and i hope ur "rippin' it up" with stef and luke! :)

today is the one month anniversary of hearing about the dreadful news.

wow, the past day i kept writing "today" as "toady"! weird!

TODAY MARKS THE ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF STUPIDITY! the stupidity is referring to the car accident involving ste/lou/da/lo. Stephanie Jill Wittenberg and Luke Hughes Franklin died at the scene (exactly a month ago).

can u believe that stef would have been in England and Luke would have been at the uofa with most of us? oh well, I know that they are in a better place now.

I really do miss you guys and I know that you are happy where you are. I also know that you are watching over us and thanks for doing that! :)