IT'S FIXED, IT'S FIXED!!!! YAY, MY INTERNET IS FIXED! i finally had the courage to call the telus guy, it sucks getting yelled at by ur bro for not doing that, and he told me that my problems were prolly "spyware" related. oh well, it should be over now! yay! i can type on my blog again! i think u guys can send me messages to hotmail, but maybe just stick to the bluebug addy for now. sorry to get mad at u guys, but hotmail was being a b!tch! anyway, i saw the movie "disclosure" on saturday night, and i saw most of the "jfk jr." movie last night. wow, it's sad how john-john died! alas. it's very creepy when ur looking at a pic of him and at the same time ur watching a movie about him, someone else playing him of course. i LOATHE demi moore, and well i'm glad she was evil in "disclosure". see michael douglas and demi moore are in that movie. but yah, i don't like her because as soon as i liked ashton kutcher, she dated him and made him annoying! oh well, whatevs. wow, this is fun, i get to type again on this thing! ahhhhh! school's starting soon! freaky, eh? like 8 days till actual school starts for some of us, and like 6 days till orientation! oh my i'm scared! i know everyone keeps telling me that i'll make loads of new friends, but i've been through some bad experiences, and believe me, ur first impression is the one that the other person remembers! hehe, i got a copy of the grad dvd, and my mom is watching it! it's fun to hear a song of sam roberts everyday on the bear! woohoo!
wow, there were more things to say, but i can't remember now. oh well!

Hey, yay, i can get a post in! yah, my internet is stupid! anyway, can u believe that canada was able to get 6 medals in 5 days? weird! poor perdita! she was going for gold and then she hit the first hurdle! that was sad to watch. she was crying afterwards, i felt bad for her. for those of u who don't know, perdita is a canadian hurdler (100m). she was doing good, she won all of her her championships. oh well, maybe she can do it in beijing! it was funny how when she fell, she hipchecked the russian and screwed the russian out of medal contention! stupid american won and broke the old olympic record! BAH!!!! i give props to angela whyte (edmontonian) for making the 100m hurdling finals, even though she finished last. but she still finished! ooh, and i give props to lori-ann munzer (i don't think i spelled that right), 'cause she won gold in her cycling sprint (she's also an edmontonian)! yes, well. i saw "princess diaries 2" last tuesday (aug. 17). parts were funny, but parts were dumb (love-blech!!!!). but yah, i didn't hate it, so that's good! i love watching the olympics, even though the states is kicking everyone's asses! but still, it's fun to watch the track and field events! last week, in the 100m female sprint, Nesterenko (from belarus i think) won the final! she came out of nowhere, but her times were good so that's great! hehe, she beat the american! it's been like 5 olympics since a non-american won that event! ooh, and the guys' 100m sprint was cool to watch. neither of the canadians made it to the finals, but it was still fun to watch. the reigning olympic champ maurice green (american) was trying for another gold, instead he got the bronze. the runner who has the fastest time this year in sprinting, shawn crawford (american), finished 4th. a runner from jamaica, asafa powell, was a big contender for gold (he's only 21, hehe!) but he finished 5th! the winner was an american, justin gaitlin, who's young too (22) but wasn't a big contender for the medals, especially gold! hehe, that was cool. a guy from portugal got silver, i forget his name. was it obikweli? i can't remember. he's originally from nigeria, or somewhere in there. but yah, that was a great race. luckily, justin did not break canadian donovan bailey's olympic record of 9.84 seconds! he got 9.85 seconds! close, eh? i can't believe that canada lost all of their rowing events except they got a silver in one! ugggh, they canadians were leading in all of them, or else they were in 2nd place! ahhh!!!! oh well. i hope that these olympics are an eye-opener to the athletes/gov/coaches and staff. maybe in 4 yrs we can get more medals! hehe, in the steeplechase yesterday, kenya swept all of the medals! they gold/silver/bronze medals were awarded to 3 kenyans! yay!
too bad canada lost their exhibition game to the U.S. on monday for the world cup of hockey. hopefully, canada doesn't do that again, and can beat the states and beat everyone else and win! that would be cool. i wish i could have gone, seeing as it's in toronto, but it's during school time! my cousins are going, but that doesn't help me. oh well, there's still vancouver in 2010!

WHAT A DAY! see, i went to get the mail today and i saw this big package from university of western ontario! then i thought, what if i got accepted? well, true enough-I DID!!! sweet! i do wanna go there (out of town and all), but i prolly won't be able to 'cause my dad'll say no and all. oh well! i only got accepted because i can't go, but hey, that kinda gives me more options and all! see london, ontario is good 'cause i'll be closer to t dot (my cousins) but still, i can't see/cheer for the edmonton oilers! hehe! oh yah, one of cuz's from t dot's coming here, so that would be a burn to her! but i dunno, maybe i'll be "destined" to go there! wow, that'll be cool! however, i do enjoy my u of a sched! i like getting to sleep in! man, that was weird seeing that package and all!

i got a hair cut on sunday, august 15, 04. i cut 4 inches off! i'm keeping this as a reference to see how long it takes my hair to grow out!

i think i know why i was depressed last night. see, for the past few days, i had the required daily amount of vitamin B12 except for yesterday. see, if u don't have enough of that vitamin, then u become depressed. that must have been it, 'cause i'm not depressed now, and i did have my required amount!

oh, i love my pretty soft hair! i'll have to wash it today, boo-urns! oh well, i took pics 'cause it looked pretty.

i miss the show edgemont, i dunno if it'll come back to cbc! it was fun to watch, i got to watch episodes of which i hadn't seen before, and finally some plot lines made sense to me. man, i wanted to tape it from the beginning, and they would have started to show the first episodes again in the next week or so! ugggh! hehe, i had a wonky dream last night. apparently the cast members of edgemont came to my house. well, some of them. actually i think i was 13/14, and my house was huge and white on the inside. apparently i exchanged msn addys with some of them. ooooh, and the guy who plays craig (i love his character, except when he dated the evil girl!) won a shopping spree at wal-mart or somewhere, and i got to be his partner. however, he thought that he was the only winner, instead there were a lot of winners! so, we were trying to grab everything we could! but then i woke up, too bad! i did enjoy that dream, especially the latter portion. alas!

on saturday, it was the one year anniversary since my dad had his "accident". well, his accident was stupid! he was at a worksite, and some drywall fell and he tried to keep it up but it fell on his legs! he's not a big man, and well, he was in a car accident 30yrs ago which left him to be quite a brittle/fragile man. anyway, it took a long time, but finally the huge cut healed (mostly) and the blood stopped. i remember that he had a nurse who had to change his bandage everyday, that was annoying. i liked looking at it, though. it was all bloody and gross, yet cool in a weird sort of way. well, i'm glad the changing of bandages is over. it's weird, 'cause that day he had his accident, he called our house, but told my mom to give the phone to me. i thought he had a surprise for my mom, like a new car or something. but it turned out to be stupid! he didn't wanna tell my mom, cause then she'd have a fit! we went to see the doctor and then we had to go to the hospital, my aunt told my mom about the accident. i hate involving my relatives, but seeing as my dad works for my uncle, it isn't something u can avoid! i just wish my family was nice. they hate being good!

i think i'm going to be sick. i don't feel happy! NO MORE PAIN!

i saw "the great escape" with steve mcqueen on saturday, and i saw "gosford park" with ryan phillipe on sunday. hehe, ryan phillipe had either a scottish/irish accent. for those of u who have seen it, u could help me determine which accent it was. but i liked it! oooh, when the south african guys won the gold in the 4x100m swimming relay they were interviewed and i got to listen to their accents! i love accents!

oh well, i'm sad now, i don't know y. i guess i'm in one of those "i'm never gonna find anyone" moods. i hate those moods! what makes it worse, is that i was fine up until while i was at mosque when i saw "someone". but maybe that wasn't it. i think it was at safeway, and i was listening to a good song with a good singer, and i realized that i'll never get to be with a guy who can sing. oh well, i'm depressed, and music isn't helping! u know what else pisses me off? stupid old men who follow me! ugggh! i hate them, i don't care if they are sick or don't know what they r doing, they still piss me off. everywhere i go, this one guy follows me (in mosque) and he stares at me! and of course, any guy i like seems to think that i'm their stalker, just cause i'm in the same place as them! like monday night, in mosque, my mom decides to leave right when "someone" is leaving! ugggh, i'm sick of this! oh well, what can i do? i just hope that i don't marry some stupid sick, twisted old man! i hope i can find a good guy close to my age!

yay, canada won a medal! they won bronze in the female synchronized diving event! i was watching the guys synchro diving event, and when i watched the states team, they went from 7th place up to 2nd place! but when i didn't watch them, they fell from 2nd or 1st place to 5th, so they didn't get a medal! yay! yay!

I GOT MY SCHED FOR U OF A!!! yay, i'm now officially going to uofa! i can't believe i'm excited! i also got a letter from the rutherford scholarship! yay, money! oooohhhhhhhh, i'm excited to meet new people at uofa, of course i'll miss u guys that are leaving! *tear*. oh well, we'll have to do things when everyone's free! wow, i wonder if we'll all change in 6 months or so. that would be weird/cool.

I just bought the "o canada" cd! it has a quiz if u load it up on ur comp. the quiz is based on canadian music knowledge. i got 16/25 and at the end of quiz it said that i did good and that don cherry would be proud!!! and the cd comes with a $10 off roots merchandise coupon.

the songs on the cd are (in order):
1) brother down-sam roberts 2) anger as beauty-hawksley workman
3) pinch me-barenaked ladies 4) building a mystery-sarah mclachlan
5) the way i feel-remy shand 6) nothing could come between us-theory of a deadman
7) bye bye boyfriend-fefe dobson 8) waiting in canada-jann arden
9) innocent-our lady peace 10) it's about time-lillix 11) the good in everyone-sloan
12) bring it home-swollen members 13) i'm just a kid-simple plan
14) basement apt.-sarah harmer 15) go or go ahead-rufus wainright

i like most of these songs, and finally i can get the proper version of "anger as beauty" by hawksley workman!

these lyrics from a song kinda reminded me of me.

"you don't know me, you know you never will"

just thought i'd write that.

i know that some of you get offended/annoyed at the fact that i place loads of lyrics on my blog. i am sorry if you are annoyed, however, this is my blog and i am entitled to do whatever i may please. in addition, i am placing these lyrics on here so that i can learn the words of songs i enjoy, and i enjoy a LOT of songs. also, i place lyrics as a filler on my blog, otherwise my blog would have very boring posts!

here's some strange entertainment news for you:

1)Justin Timberlake proposed on bended knee after asking permission
from Cameron Diaz's parents to marry the actress. "Cameron is absolutely
thrilled about the engagement. They are both very much in love."
Timberlake, 23, and Diaz, 31.

2)Olsens build $7.3 million dorm
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, 18, are spending $7.3 million on four connecting penthouses in Greenwich Village, within walking distance of the New York University campus where they'll be studying. These buildings will have views of the Statue of Liberty and New York Harbor on one side and the Empire State Building and midtown Manhattan on the other. In addition to spacious bedrooms with studies, walk-in closets and private bathrooms, the apartments will have separate entrance doors. There are also two guest bedrooms, a screening room, kitchen, breakfast area, dining room, living room, family room and extra bathrooms.

3)Open call for Superman
An actor is being sought to play Clark Kent/Superman in the new
Warner Bros. Superman film. The description of the role is:
Late 20s, tall, handsome, chiseled good looks.
Athletic. Strong character. All American. Confident, yet awkward.
Faster than a speeding bullet.

Now if u know anyone for the 3rd one, then u can inform them about auditioning for the part!

uggh, stupid twins and their building a monstrous dorm! do they really need all that living space? who else will live with them! do they really need a breakfast area, dining room if only one of them eats? ugggh! if they were good people, they would put their money into something smart, like helping the poor! stupid twins, they must die!!!!!!!

I HAVE SOME SAD NEWS FOR ALL YOU CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY FANS!!! i don't know if any of you have heard, but he's now engaged to his "one tree hill" costar. i forget her name, but i have the new teenpeople magazine with him on the front, and it talks about that! oooh, and there's some pics too.... yes, i used to be a big chad michael murray fan, but it is a shame that he's taken and all :(

Talk To Me, Dance With Me by Hot Hot Heat

You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner girl.
You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner

You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner girl.
You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner

Talk to me... dance with me here in the spotlight, girl.
Talk to me... dance with me here. You're the spotlight girl.

So perfect you paint it... yet so manipulated.
So calm and so patient... yet oh so calculated.
So safe and comforting... this doesn't feel like flirting.
So fun I'm distracted... forgot you keep track of it.

So perfect you paint it... yet so manipulated.
So calm and so patient... yet calculated.
So perfect you paint it... yet so manipulated.
So calm and so patient... yet calculated

Talk to me... dance with me here in the spotlight, girl.
Talk to me... dance with me here.

You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner girl.
You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner

You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner girl.
You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner

You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner girl.
You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner

You are my only girl,
but you're not my owner girl.
You are my only girl

Talk to me... dance with me here in the spotlight, girl.
Talk to me... dance with me here. You're the spotlight girl.

Talk to me... dance with me here in the spotlight, girl.
Talk to me... dance with me here.

Same Direction by Hoobastank

whenever i step outside, somebody claims to see the light
it seems to me that all of us have lost our patience.
'cause everyone thinks they're right, and nobody thinks that there just might
be more than one road to our final destination

but i'm not ever going to know if i'm right or wrong
'cause we're all going in the same direction
and i'm not sure which way to go because all along
we've been going in the same direction

i'm tired of playing games, of looking for someone else to blame
for all the holes in answers that are clearly showing
for something to fill the space, was all of the time i spent a waste
'cause so many choices point the same way i was going.....

so why does there only have to be one correct philosophy?
i don't want to go and follow you just to end up like one of them
and why are you always telling me what you want me to believe?
i'd like to think that i can go my own way and meet you in the end.

but i'm not ever going to know........

New Disease by Spineshank

Now I can take this, everything I know
Realize that I'm nothing I wanted to be
I can never change anything I've done
Because it's the only thing I have left

Blame myself again for what I didn't do
Never even knew it was coming from me
It changed the way I felt, the worst is yet to come
Because I have gone too far now

Chorus:
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody,
Changed my mind
And it leads me to a new disease
Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody,
Let it die
But it still becomes a new disease

Is this all worth what this has done to me
Watered down my senses and turned them on me
Fuck morality and everything I know
If I didn't hate this then I couldn't cope
Impersonate myself for what I used to be
Denial is all that's left now

Chorus x2

Seething in my head
I'm suffering instead
I can't remember why
This meant so much to me

Doubt
Did I ever want this
It's all I could've been, it's all I would've been
Doubt
Did I ever want this?
It's all I've ever been, it's all I'll ever be

Seething in my head
I'm suffering instead
I can't remember why
This meant so much to me

Chorus 2x

Two Princes by The Spin Doctors

One, two, princes kneel before you
(that's what I said, now)
Princes, Princes who adore you
(Just go ahead, now)
One has diamonds in his pockets
(that sounds great, now)
This one, said he wants to buy you lockets
(Ain't in his head, now)

This one, he got a princely racket
(That's what I said, now)
Got some big seal upon his jacket
(Ain't in his head, now)
Marry him, your father will condone you
(how bout that, now)
Marry me, your father will disown you
(he'll eat his hat, now)

Aww, marry him or marry me,
I'm the one that loves you b baby can't you see?
Ain't got no future or a family tree,
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be,
I know what a prince and lover ought to be....

Said, if you want to call me baby
(Just go ahead, now)
An' if you'd like to tell me maybe
(Just go ahead, now)
An' If you wanna buy me flowers
(Just go ahead, now)
And if you'd like to talk for hours
(Just go ahead, now)

Said, One, two, princes kneel before you
(that's what I said, now)
Princes, Princes who adore you
(Just go ahead, now)
One has diamonds in his pockets
(that sounds great, now)
This one, he wants to buy you lockets
(Ain't in his head, now)

Marry him or marry me,
I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see?
Ain't got no future or a family tree,
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be,
I know what a prince and lover ought to be....

Said, if you want to call me baby
(Just go ahead, now)
An' if you'd like to tell me maybe
(Just go ahead, now)
If you wanna buy me flowers
(Just go ahead, now)
And if you'd like to talk for hours
(Just go ahead, now)

And if you want to call me baby
(Just go ahead, now)
An' if you'd like to tell me maybe
(Just go ahead, now)
If you'd like buy me flowers
(Just go ahead, now)
And if you'd like to talk for hours
(Just go ahead, now)

Said, if you want to call me baby
(Just go ahead, now)
An' if you'd like to tell me maybe
(Just go ahead, now)
If you wanna buy me flowers
(Just go ahead, now)
And if you'd like to talk for hours
(Just go ahead, now)

ohh baby
(just go ahead now)
repeat to fade..

Whatever by Our Lady Peace

There’s no holding me back
I’m not driven by fear
I’m just driven by anger
And you’re under attack
Just climbing up slowly
I’m the one and only

The tease, the way you lie
The stumble in your mind
The fear, the hope inside
They hit here
Hit here

But whatever you need
‘Ever you got
‘Ever you want
I’ll take back again
Whatever you need
‘Ever you got
‘Ever you want
I’ll take back again

-INSTRUMENTAL BREAK-

There’s no holding me back
I’m not driven by fear
I’m just driven by anger
And you’re under attack
Just climbing up slowly
I’m the one and only

The tease, the way you lie
The stumble in your mind
The fear, the hope inside
They hit here
Hit here

But whatever you need
‘Ever you got
‘Ever you want
I’ll take back again
Whatever you need
‘Ever you got
‘Ever you want
I’ll take back again
Though whatever you need
‘Ever you got...

-INSTRUMENTAL-

But whatever you need
‘Ever you got
‘Ever you want
I’ll take back again

Whatever you need
‘Ever you got
‘Ever you want
I’ll take back again

Whatever you need
‘Ever you got
‘Ever you want
I’ll take back again

But whatever you need
‘Ever you got...

Whatever you-ohh-ohh
Whatever you-....
Whatever you-....
Whatever you-....

Harder To Breathe by Maroon 5

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I am walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

*CHORUS**

Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional from Spidey 2 soundtrack

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated, I am

{Chorus}
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me
So isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am

{Chorus}

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever

Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away (3x)
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away (4x)

{Chorus}

My hope
dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson

On a Monday, I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
In the darkness is a clear view
Cuz you've come to rescue me

Fall... With you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me(x2)

I am moody, messy
I get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care

When I'm angry, you listen
Make me happy, it's your mission
And you won't stop till I'm there

Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
When I hit that bottom, crash,
you're all I have

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know everything I'm about to say?
Am I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face...I hope it never goes away... yeah

On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...So I can breathe

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...(x2)

Float On by Modest Mouse

We were shooting at a mound of dirt
Well nothing was broken nothing was hurt
But I probably really should have been at work
But if my free time is gone would you promise me this that you’ll
Please bury me with it
Please bury me with it
Well as sure as planets come I know that they end
And if I’m here when that happens here promise me this my friend
Please bury me with it
Please bury me with it
Well this shoe got tired and it split at the seams
But I kept it out of habit and I kept it real clean
But if it’s a getting faded and it’s a running out of thread
Would you do this for me my friends and please just
Please bury me with it
Please bury me with it
Well we move to the left and we move to the right
And as sure as hell we stayed out almost every single night
But if the party is over if the fun has to end
Would you do this for me my friend and please just
Please bury me with it
Please bury me with it
We are humming birds who lost the flock
And we will not move
And there’s good news for anyone who loves bad news
We are humming
We were among at the moon we’re shooting at the stars
But the kids were just shooting at the buses and the cars
So don’t drink that water don’t you breathe the air
Then if you down that poison I have to declare that you can
Please bury me with it
Please bury me with it
Well fast they come and fast they go
And god I love that rock’n roll
Well the point was fast but it was to blunt to miss
Like life’s paycheck we worked harder than this
Please bury me with it
Please bury me with it
We are humming birds who lost the flock
And we will not move
And there’s good news for anyone who loves bad news
We are humming birds who lost the flock
And we will not move
And there’s good news for anyone who loves bad news

you know what's funny? well, the bear was playing a creed song (i forgot which one) and after that, they played the new band called alterbridge's song. ur prolly wondering y that's funny, well it's funny because alterbridge is composed of former creed members (all of them are former creed members except for the lead singer)! i thought that was funny!

well, it's fun to have really curly hair one night and really straight hair the next! see, i have naturally curly/wavy hair and if i let it dry naturally it does become curly. that's y i don't leave my hair down, it turns out to be too wavy and big! blah! yah, so i left my hair curly on friday night, and it actually worked! i love my new curl stuff, "lacoupe" is the brand name. and yesterday i had loads of time, so i decided to straighten my hair-my hair is really long! i keep trying to cut new layers (my bottom layers grow slow, and my top layers grow fast so it looked like i had 2 layers!) and well, i think i need to get it all cut. i want to cut it properly and grow it out again. i love the feel of smooth straight hair! sorry, i was just feeling my hair! uggh, y does it have to take me like 2 hours plus some to get my hair pretty! blah i hate it! that's y i never bother to do my hair. oh well, maybe i'll be rich and get some good hair care going on in my hair so that it doesn't take as long to straighten. my straightener was being weird, it wasn't heating up like it usually does, but it was still hot! oh well, it wasted less water than usual, so that works for me! yah, hmmmm..... smooth hair! hehe!

Sparkle and Shine by Econoline Crush

sometimes i feel i'm going under
you don't feel nothing at all
give me hope,
give me something to believe in
this jaded heart was never enough

BRIDGE:
you don't know me
you know you never will
can't see inside me
lost out on the thrill
killed by ambition
sacrificed for fame
one more time, one last time

CHORUS:
sparkle and shine (3 x)
tonight (3 x)

your rejection's intoxicating
my high is incomplete
kill the pain
plug the hole, stop the music
you leave me hollow
wanting more

BRIDGE

CHORUS

don't look back (2 x)

one more time, one last time

CHORUS

Leader by Bif Naked

Get offa me!
Away from me!
Get me outa here!
Let go of me!
Don't bother me!
I'm no leader.

What's wrong with you?
I wash the dishes.
Walk to the post office.
I get some juice in my mouth.
I spit it out.
I spit it out.
I spit it out.
I spit it all over my clean shirt.
(it says "vail)

I'm not yours or anyone's.
I don't even own myself.
Why do you always watch me?
I just wanna be myself.

Get offa me!
Away from me!
Get me outa here!
Let go of me!
Don't bother me!
I'm no leader.

You don't know me,
so don't touch me.
I'm not here to validate your behavior.
You need to stop.
You need to stop.
You need to stop talking so fast.
(I'm not interested in anything you have to say)

I wish you would crawl back up to the bar.
Tell it to your drink.
Tell it to your drink.
Tell her who you are.
Don't tell me.
Don't talk to me.
I want you to shut your mouth.

Get offa me!
Away from me!
Get me outa here!
Let go of me!
Don't bother me!
I'm no leader.

I can not be your leader.
I can not be your leader.
Stop lookin at me.
Stop lookin at me.
Stop lookin at me.
Stop lookin at me.

I brush my teeth,
stop looking at me.
I park my car,
stop looking at me.
Get on the train,
stop looking at me.
I turn around,
you stop looking at me!

oh yes, i forgot to mention that i also saw "mambo italiano" at bev's house this summer! i gotta remind myself of all the movies i've seen this summer! i think i've seen seven so far!

yay! they r playing sam roberts on the bear! hehe, they played one song yesterday too! yay, i'm not mad at the bear anymore! they wouldn't play any of my requests on the "all-request long weekend"! so that's why i was mad. like any of u care! well, whatevs! hehe, it's rfr week on family channel. yesterday it was nathan carter's turn (mmmmmmmmmmmm.........travis!) to say which episode is his favourite. oooh, i can't wait for tomorrow, they'll show the first episode of rfr, ooh, i wonder how it all started! "....there's no road, that ain't a hard road to travel on" ah, i love sam (hard road). haha, the radio dj was just talking about the concert at k-days. he just said that everyone says that sam is a fantastic performer! wow, i miss that concert. i can't believe that he put on such a good show, come on for $8! that's was generous of him, oh well, his merchandise paid off for that. there were loads of people buying stuff! i'm glad my shirt fits, it's a great shirt.

i was just reading some blogs, and i totally agree with people. i can't reveal myself to anyone, 'cause every time i do, people make me the fool. i dunno, it's hard to express who u r when everyone around u is different. i dunno, it's real hard to be open-minded, 'cause everyone around u hates u for likeing different things. i know that none of u care for any of my music, but still. i'm a totally different person than what any of u guys think, it's just i can't express myself. no one knows the real me, not even my closest relatives. i guess i'll just have to wait another 5 yrs until i find some of those totally understanding people. i wanna be able to express myself the way that i am and not have to be dubbed the "shy girl" when infact i have lots to say! stupid family members! if i could just tell them my stories and such, and have them not spread the word or get me in trouble, then i'd be fine. i've been living in isolation for the past 5 yrs, it's not fair! i hate being depressed, i hate it! i have to deal with so many problems, and i have no one to turn to! every time i express my feelings, i get shot down. i have to listen to everyone else's problems, stories, happy moments, but no one wants to listen to mine. i wait for people when they are behind, but everyone leaves me! what did i do? i don't care if ur pissed at me while reading this, it is the truth after all, and i'm going to express it! for the past 5 yrs, i've been "emotional eating" and look where it's got me-i'm 60 pounds over weight! it's a pain in the ass when ur stuck in a rut! i hated high school! nothing there made me feel good! that's y i loved night school or summer school, the people there weren't as judgemental and the teachers were better. people actually liked u there. i know i'm different than all of u, but u gotta accept me for who i am. i know i won't be ur best friend and kiss ur ass, i do have an opinion and am entitled to use it! i know that liking celebs is not the best thing, but look at me! i'm never gonna get a real down to earth guy, now am i? all the guys that i know, think i stalk them, and quite frankly let them, that's there problem! that's how it's gonna be for the rest of my life! the only time a guy would every be interested in me, is if i lost all my weight and became the thin curvacious figure they want! damn, i wish i didn't have a decent figure, i'm wasting it! the only thing that makes me happy is tv and music. ur thinking, "what a loser!" but no, i'm not. see i live in a dream world. i'm only happy in my dreams, never in real life. i've grown to become a pessimist and nothing will prolly ever change that. i know everyone has problems, but i think i've suffered through lots. just this past september, i finally got rid of my hairy arms and face, so i thought everything would change. but no! i'm still depressed, and now i have other, more pathetic problems! u know what pisses me off the most? the fact that i try hard to be everyone's friend-i am there when they need me, i listen to them, i wait for them, i go with them to places they want to go to, but they RARELY return the favour! i'll be there for people 24/7, but where's my help? no one cares to listen to my problems! no one cares to think that i might actually be suicidal, no one cares to think that i may have thought about taking my life and maybe even tried it! no one gets me, and no one ever will! i know i'm different, but i'm not a bad different! i don't smoke, do drugs, drink or even have sex! so why do people judge me? what do i differently? just cause i'm willing to like new things, or do something a different way, people think i'm some sort of moron! i'm actually not stupid, i know i say really stupid things, but that's what i get for fainting and lack of sleep! i wanted to leave town, i wanted to leave everyone and start fresh, but i don't get that chance. oh well, maybe university will give me the chance i've been waiting for. or maybe, i'll be stuck in a rut there too and want to leave! i don't care if ur mad at me or think i'm a tard after reading this, but it's the truth, whether u like it or not or whether or not u care! i'm not a pathetic soul, i do have feelings, and well, they've been crushed. i don't expect any thing good to happen, 'cause every time i thought it would, it didn't. i've even lost some faith due to this depression! i just want to dig a hole and live in it. i don't want to ever come out of it! see, society is getting more and more pathetic! u have to be "hot" to be considered dating material! that's not as pathetic as the fact that some brilliant people can't get jobs, but some hot people get those jobs instead! that's what society is coming too! i want out of this society, i miss the good ol' days when plastic surgery and botox was hidden from the public. if ur fat, ur fugly. if ur old-looking, ur fugly. if ur different, ur a freak. those r the defintions of today. no one can accept a unique person, that unique person is considered an outsider or an outcast. and that's what i am-an outcast! everyone hates me for not talking to them, but i have nothing of use to say. i just want to leave this world. i HATE being and outcast! but i'll never get away from it all! i'm gonna end it there, i give up.

oooh! i saw the "bourne supremecy" with my bro on sunday evening! i liked it, actually i liked the bad guy more than matt damon. and by bad guy, i mean the guy who kills jason bourne's g/f. yes, i like the evil man! haha! oh well, oooh and today i saw the "manchurian candidate" with daniel prinz and luke. yah, that was an AWESOME movie! it had loads of twists and turns! it was fabulous. even when u finally thought u had the movie all figured out, a new twist occurred! it was great. i haven't seen the original movie, even though it was on the weekend, but people say it's different than this. yay, i liked that movie!

well, i was visiting stores in the mall before i went to the theatre, and i went to see claire's "15 tems for $10" sale. there was actually some good stuff! so i bought 15 items. it's cheap! that's like $0.67 per item! hehe, but then when i walked back after the movie, the sign said "10 items for $10"! hehe! it was funny, 'cause i got a sweetass deal! i guess it pays to go to the mall early!

THAT WAS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! unless sam does decide to come back to edmonton soon and produce a concert that either ties this one, or tops it!
MAN! I LOVE SAM ROBERTS!!!! laura popko-bryant was CORRECT-sam roberts is an amazing performer and i will love him even more after i see a performance of him!!!!  WOW! words can't really describe his breathtaking performance at klondike days last night (saturday, july 31)!  colleen and i went to witness this miraculous concert!  when we got to klondike days, we went to the telus stage.  we got there early and were able to catch the end of a hypnotist act.  then it was 7 pm, and we waited for an hour until the opening band came out.  while we were waiting, i noticed that in front of me was none other than alison cairns!  i thought that was cool, the fact that i actually knew someone sitting right in front of us! oh yah, we were sitting on benches, i would say 5 or 6 rows from the front, it wasn't too far.  yes, well, continuing on, the opening band came out, i think the name was "simon wilcox", and the lead singer was a girl who sings quite well actually.  they are a band from t dot yet, for some reason, they do not incorporate drums into their band!  maybe they actually do have a drummer but the drummer was sick! i dunno!  well, the band was good, i love electric guitars! the guy playing a guitar was brown! hehe! well, the band consisted of a chick (guitar/singer), a guy playing guitar and a guy playing piano!  yah!  THEN CAME SOME MORE WAITING! well, actually half an hour of that!  AND FINALLY.............................................................................................................................................
THE MAIN ATTRACTION-SAM ROBERTS ARRIVED AT 9PM ON TELUS STAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and man was i happy!  he started out with "don't walk away eileen"! but before i get into that, i must confess some more details.  well, the security guard allowed for the people in the first 4 rows of benches to move up near the stage, allowing for more of the people standing on the sides to sit down.  well, the people standing in the front, were actually blocking the people sitting behind them, leading to each row behind the previous, to stand up.  well, good thing we all stood, we got to see sam roberts and got to clap/jump/bob our heads and have all sorts of fun!  however, i decided to be dumb and let people climb over the bench and then stand in our way.  actually, everyone who climbed onto the bench got off it and went to my right side (far away) so they didn't bother me.  but this one guy just stood right infront of colleen and me, well, right in between both of our fields of vision! Ugh, that wouldn't have been so bad, but the fact that he was drunk didn't help! he kept swaying, jumping, and playing air guitar! he was kinda old too! so, it was funny to see him play air guitar, and to see him not notice his cell phone fall to the ground! hehe! i can't believe the girl next to him actually told him about it! sorry, he really irritated me! he kept blocking sam, well maybe not the whole time! Ugh, that guy started to smoke near the end of the concert too! ewwwwwwww! oh by the way, i think i inhaled enough 2nd hand smoke to cause lung cancer in me! blech! well, yes, THE CONCERT! it was WICKED awesome, he sang lots of songs! after an hour or so, sam and his band left the stage! the crowd kept cheering for him AND THEN HIS BAND RETURNED AND SAM ROBERTS RETURNED TO THE STAGE!!!!  yay, they sang a couple of more songs!  it was FREAKIN' AWESOME!!! i loved how they extended every song with additional guitar solos and such! it was perfect! I LOVED IT!!!! too bad they didn't play "higher learning" seeing as their tour is called "the higher learning tour"! oh well!  they didn't play "when everything was alright"! ah, it was still awesome no matter what! they did play "where have all the good people gone?" which is one of my favs anyways! oooh, and they started that song with a long guitar intro, it was SWEET!!!!  oh and he changed one lyric in the chorus for us.  instead of saying "from montreal to hong kong", he said "from montreal to edmonton"! awesome! hehe, he was drinking some beer, and when he finished his glass, people were cheering! well, there were a lot of drinking people and smokers! ewww! oh well, no harm was done! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THE CONCERT WAS AMAZING! I WAS SO HAPPY, I WAS SMILING THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!!!!!!!  sam is truly an EXCELLENT performer! i truly give him props for being talented and amazing!  he knows how to get the crowd into it! he gets us to clap, and he really gets into his own music which gets us interested! wow! i can't get over this moment!  i'm sorry, switchfoot was and awesome concert, but i'll have to say sam roberts was better in the fact that i LOVE sam roberts! i felt the way stef felt at the switchfoot concert, tonight! like, i was so excited and happy! i was glad that it didn't rain like it was supposed to!  too bad they didn't let u take pics, i really wanted to, but then again, that drunk guy infront of me kept moving in my way!  

after the concert, colleen and i bought t-shirts!  i got a black one that says "higher learning tour" and "sam roberts" and cool stuff like that! it prolly won't fit, but for $25 and the fact that it's a sam roberts t-shirt, why should i care!!!!

and of course, i had to get some MINI DONUTS 'cause it's a tradition, that everytime i go to k-days, i have to buy mini donuts! i got ones with cinnamon sugar, and they taste YUMMY!!!!!! SUGA'!!!!!! i meant to say suga'! 

wow, the day started out weird, but grew to a great end!  well, i went to a wedding/signing of the marriage contracts between my 2nd cuz and his fiance (accent on the 'e').  after that, my bro and i went to kingsway garden mall and he bought some stuff, and i looked at lots of stuff.  then, we went to moxies and had lunch.  i had the chicken quesidilla it was good but large! i had to take some home! hehe!  but yah, now i can say i went to moxies (stupid every time people go and i can't!)! and then of course, i was able to witness an INCREDIBLE concert!! i want MORE!!!!

oh well, hopefully sam comes back!